50+ Christmas Vacation Quotes | Rusty | Jolliest | Bunch | Nuthouse | Cousin Eddie

Christmas Vacation Quotes

Here are some of the best Christmas vacation quotes to help you write fitting captions on social media like Facebook or Instagram.

Moreover, there are phrases from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation movie, that will make you laugh out loud and bring Christmas in the 1980s to mind.

Pick suitable holiday quotes on Christmas vacations and a fun time sharing with people in your community.

Christmas Vacation Quotes Clark Rant

 “We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tapdanced with Danny-fucking-Kaye.”

“If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised.” 

Christmas Vacation Quotes Rusty

“Whoa, geez! Look at the time. I gotta get to bed—and brush my teeth, feed the hog, do the laundry, wash the car, still got some homework to do.”

“Mom? This box is meowing.” 

“Dad, this tree won’t fit in our back yard.”

“Dad, I think you mean burn rubber and eat my dust.”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Jolliest Bunch of

“Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of a$$holes this side of the nuthouse.”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Nuthouse

“What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Mary

“I was just looking at something for my wife, God rest her soul.” — Clark Griswold

“God, I’m so sorry!”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Cousin Eddie

“You ain’t never seen a set on a dog like this one’s got, Clark.”

“And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark… something real nice.”

“If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin’ that hockey player.”

“She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back…”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Audrey

“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas.”

“We’re not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we Dad?”

“Clark, Audrey’s frozen from the waist down.”

Christmas Vacation Todd and Margo Quotes

“And why is the carpet all wet, Todddddd?”

“Hey Griswold, where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”

“Where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”

“I can’t just attack someone.”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Uncle Lewis

“You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” 


Christmas Vacation Quotes Grace

“Grace? She died 30 years ago!”

“ Since this is Aunt Bethany’s 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.”

“They want you to say grace…. The BLESS-ING!!!”

Christmas Vacation Quotes Cousin Eddie

“You better take a rain check on that, Art, he’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” 

“Save the neck for me, Clark!”

“Last season he was a pixie dust speaker on the Tilt-A-Whirl. He thinks that next year he’ll be guessing people’s weight or barkin’ for the yak lady.”

“Merry Christmas! Sh*tter was full!” 

“I don’t know if I should go sailin’ down no hill with nothing between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic.” 

“Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas, Clark! You about ready to do some kissing?” 

“Oh, he’s just yakkin’ on a bone.”

“If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all.”

“Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”

“Oh, that uh, that there’s an RV. Yeah, yeah, I borrowed it off a buddy of mine. He took my house, I took the RV. It’s a good looking vehicle, ain’t it?” 

“They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one. Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.”

“Clark, I’d like to try to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item. If you don’t mind my askin’, how much did she set you back?” 

Enjoy reading these Christmas vacation quotes you movie lovers! Merry Christmas.

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