90+ Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes | Movie | For Him | Her | Singles | Friends 2023

Valentine's Day Quotes

Everyone love love, Valentine’s Day is even more fun for couples and friends.

Therefore, if you are looking for funny valentine’s day quotes for true romantic captions then this is the place.

You can take help or inspiration from these funny valentine’s quotes to write hilarious greetings on Valentine’s day cards this year.

Pick suitable valentine’s dat quotes for him and her, especially your friends who are singles.

Have fun and happy valentine’s day.

Funny Valentine Movie Quotes

Funny Valentine Movie Quotes
  • “You make me want to be a better man.” As Good As It Gets
Funny Valentine Movie Quotes
  • “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Brokeback Mountain
Valentine's Day Movie Quotes
  • “Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time.” Casablanca
  • “To me, you are perfect.” Love Actually
  • “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.” Notting Hill
  • “You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” Gone With The Wind
  • “I don’t know I just got a feeling about her, you know when a song comes on and you just gotta dance.” Blue Valentine
  • “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.” When Harry Met Sally
  • “Love is too weak a word for what I feel, I lurve you.” Annie Hall
  • “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story
  • “I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” The Notebook
  • “True love is your soul’s recognition of its counterpoint in another.” Wedding Crashers
  • “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.” Forrest Gump
  • “I love you. I LOVE YOU. I’m not even embarrassed to say it. I just… I love you!” Superbad
  • “I love you.” “I know.” The Empire Strikes Back
  • “Remember we’re madly in love, so it’s all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it.” Hunger Games
  • “I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for.” Practical Magic
  • “Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.” The Princess Bride
  • “I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man he almost is.” Jerry Maguire
  • “I wait all day, just hoping for one more minute with you.” City of Angels

Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes For Friends

Funny Valentine's Day Quotes For Friends
  • “You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.” Henny Youngman
Funny Valentine's Quotes For Friends
  • “Without Valentine’s Day, February would be…well, January.” Jim Gaffigan
Funny Valentine's Day Quotes For Friend
  • “The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.” Dolly Parton
  • “Love is being stupid together.” Paul Valery
  • “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.” Richard Jeni
  • “Love is a grave mental illness.” Plato
  • ”Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love” Albert Einstein
  • “Love is sharing your popcorn.” Charles Schulz
  • “Love is blind—marriage is the eye-opener.” Pauline Thomason
  • ”Never sign a Valentine with your own name.” Charles Dickens
  • “Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.” Bree Luckey
  • “I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.” Chico Marx
  • Life was meant for good friends and great adventures.
  • Friendship is another word for love.
  • “I love you just the way I am!”
  • “The only card I want for Valentine’s Day is VISA.”

Funny Valentine Quotes For Him

Funny Valentine Quotes For Him
  • “I was married by a judge. I should’ve asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx
Funny Valentine Quotes For Him
  • “As a man in a relationship, you have two choices: You can be right, or you can be happy.” Ralphie May
  • “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” Chris Rock
  • “You are never alone on Valentine’s Day if you’re near a lake and have bread.” Mike Primavera
  • “If love is the answer, can you please rephrase the question?” Lily Tomlin
  • “Love is being stupid together.” Paul Valery
  • “Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.” Ambrose Bierce
  • “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” Jean Illsley Clarke
  • “People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.” Bob Hope
  • “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” Garry Shandling
  • “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” Charles Schulz
  • “In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.” Vivian Ward
  • “Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.” H. L. Mencken
  • “Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.” Jewish Proverb

Funny Valentine Quotes For Her

Funny Valentine Quotes For Her
  • “I don’t need a lot of candies this valentine’s day because I’m on a diet. You can buy me diamonds instead!”
Funny Valentine Quotes For Her
  • “I just found out that I have fallen in love more deeply than I had originally planned. You can take this as a valentine’s day confession from me!”
  • “What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.” Pearl Bailey
  • “If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.” Fran Lebowitz
  • “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.” Tim Allen
  • “If my wealth grew as much as my love for you today, I’d be on the forbes list of richest men in the world. Happy valentine’s day!”
  • “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” Phyllis Diller
  • “My healthcare plan does not cover the broken heart. So please don’t leave me ever. Happy valentine’s day!”
  • “It is hard to be wise and a lover at the same time while loving you. Happy valentine’s day, sweetheart!”
  • “You are never alone on valentine’s day if you’re near a lake and have bread.” Mike Primavera
  • “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” Kathy Mohnke
  • “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem, but they don’t really know me.” Garry Shandling
  • “Valentine’s day meant nothing to me before you, it’s still means nothing. But I love you anyway.”
  • “I don’t always celebrate valentine’s day, but I make sure I have a fake smile on my face when I do.”

Funny Valentine Quotes For Singles

Funny Valentine Quotes For Singles
  • “I love being single. It’s almost like being rich.” Sue Grafton
Funny Valentine Quotes For Singles
  • “What do single people call Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day”
  • “Can’t wait to receive nothing on Valentine’s Day.”
  • “It’s almost Valentine’s Day and I don’t know what to get myself…”
  • “Let’s celebrate not having to celebrate Valentine’s Day!”
  • “Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.”
  • “I guess I’d just have to date myself today.’
  • “Reminder that being single means you get to eat all the fries…”
  • “Forever a proud member of the Association of Single Men and Women!”
  • “Your healthy love for yourself is sexy!” Amy Leigh Mercree
  • “I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with my ex… box 360.”
  • “There’s nothing I am better at doing than being single!”
  • “I know why I am single. My parents-in-law were not able to have children.”
  • “Single |sin•gle| (adjective) – Too fabulous to settle.” Mandy Hale
  • “I think, therefore I’m single.” Liz Winston
  • “I’m single because I was born that way.” Mae West
  • “Single. Taken. X Who cares? I’m awesome.”
  • “I’m single, but I Ignore people like I’m taken.”
  • “Take it. Take another little pizza my heart now baby.”
  • “I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.”

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